Saturday, December 31, 2011

A time to appreciate.

 If I'm being honest with myself, especially while reflecting on this past year, there is one thing that I would love to work on: the fact that I am really REALLY forgetful.
When I think about all the time I spend dreaming--with my thoughts in far off places--I realize that one of my biggest flaws has always been forgetting to live in the moment.
My forgetfulness gets the best of me and at the worst moments too! Yes, I've forgotten birthdays, completely blanked on exams and most frequently I have forgotten entire conversations.  Being forgetful is cute and charming for about two seconds until you realize how important it is to remember the little things.

If you're anything like me, you're forgetfulness is due to the hours you spend dreaming about what might happen in the future.
When I was 13 I forgot to live in the moment of my awkward middle school years because I couldn't quit dreaming about what it would be like to finally drive. When I was 17 I might as well have slept through high school because I was so focused on living the college life.  And now that I'm in college all I can dream about is being a graduate and what the "real world" is all about (which terrifies me!).
But you know what? Every time I hit one of those milestones in my life the experience was never quite what I expected.  Nevertheless, I appreciated the "major moments" like getting my license (after I failed my first test) or opening up that crisp white envelop with my acceptance letter to college--but because I idealized those moments so much, my dreaming was taking place of both the present and the future.
I know, without a doubt, that I am a dreamer. A lot of us are and I don't think that is necessarily a bad trait to have.
Because, if we never dreamed about a life worth living, then we would never have the courage or motivation to really pursue the plans God has for us.  I think He gave us the ability to dream, imagine and create, simply because he loves us. 
But I do think we need to give ourselves a chance to live in THIS moment, which will contribute to the person we become.
With that said, my 2012 New Year's resolution is to live in this very moment--to give the people, jobs, and activities in my life my full attention.  So sometimes it is appropriate to stop the dreaming and live a little--appreciate your surroundings and loved ones at this very moment.  Only then, when you know just how blessed you are, can you truly dream with your whole heart and know what it is you truly want in life.
I may still forget the little details, but I think that making "right now" a priority will still give this year just the right amount of sparkle that it needs.


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